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Church of the Damned (Review)

Director(s) – John Polonia (Splatter Beach, Hellspawn), Mark Polonia (Bride of the Werewolf, Bigfoot vs. Zombies), and Todd Michael Smith (Splatter Farm, Hallucinations)
Starring – John Polonia, Mark Polonia, and Todd Michael Smith
Release Date – 1985
Rating – 3/5

My SRS Cinema marathon is still rolling on with several more DVDs that are part of their retro line sent over from MVD for review. After spending an hour with the acid trip sci-fi film Elliot I was ready to dive into some serious no-budget back yard horror. The last several movies in my SRS marathon were all from the Polonia brothers.

The next one up on the chopping block is 1985’s Church of the Damned. This is one I had owned for sometime on blu but I never did get around to checking it out until now. I’m glad I did because it is some seriously fun no-budget mayhem.

**Spoiler Alert** The film follows a small community that is seeing a rise in murders that are connected to a Satanic cult. The local police are investigating the murders but the closer they get the more bloodshed they uncover. **Spoiler Alert**

Before I go any further I have to say that this film is, without a doubt, one of the worst put together movies I have ever seen. An introduction from director Mark Polonia about the film does put things into perspective but it’s still a crude film. It is fun backyard cult slasher with the Polonia flair but it’s even more rough around the edges that the other films that put them on the horror map.

The acting in this one is pretty rough but it leads to several unintentionally funny moments. The cast consist of high school aged Polonias and Smith taking on roles as adults which is comical. Seeing them try to be hardened detectives on the force was really funny.

The story for this one is what really pulled me in. I can’t get enough of cults and seeing an early Polonia’s film centered around cults really made my imagination work overtime. I liked the approach the film had to small towns and their fear of Satanic cults with this one actually coming true. This was very much a fear in rural America and suburbs at the time so it was cool to see it make it’s way into this no-budget flick. With that being said, it does drag at times and some of the scenes edited into it feel completely out of place.

Finally, the film has that Polonia splatter in it’s infancy. The kills are very bloody and really fit that mid-80s slasher vibe that we love. The practical effects are very amateur but they are fun. Overall, Church of the Damned is one of the first movies from the Polonia brothers and Todd Michael Smith. It was virtually unfinished until Mark edited together for the SRS release. It’s extremely crude but it has that S.O.V. charm that many horror fans love. It’s a fun watch but don’t expect much.

Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.

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