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Hanukkah (Review)

Director – Eban McGarr (House of the Wolfman, Sick Girl)
Starring – Robert Felsted Jr. (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, CollegeHumor Originals), Sig Haig (House of 1000 Corpses, Spider Baby), and Caroline Williams (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Hatchet III)
Release Date – 2019
Rating – 2/5

Tagline – “A Torah-fying new tale of Horah”

Late last year I saw a few horror fans sharing pictures of the horror film Hanukkah featuring some of the last roles from screen legends Sig Haig and Dick Miller. I was really interested in this flick but when I went to place an order I realized that it was out of stock.

I waited a few months and eventually forgot about it until producer Christopher Ott made a post on social media that blus were now available to order. I quickly jumped on it and ordered a copy…then Covid hit. It would be several months before I actually got the movie. I understand how the world shutting down could affect small businesses like this so I wasn’t mad. Honestly, I forgot I had ordered it so I was surprised when it did finally arrive. As soon as I could I tossed this one in to check out.

**Spoiler Alert**The film follows a group of twenty-somethings who head out to a house party several hours from home. However, they don’t realize that one by one they slowly go missing with no trace of them at all. An older man arrives and informs them that several decades ago a religious fanatic, Judah Lazarus (Haig), murdered several people including his father but was shot by an officer before he could sacrifice his only son. Now he suspects that his son has followed in his father’s footsteps killing those that do not follow Judaic law.**Spoiler Alert**

I was so excited to check this one out. Honestly, I had a smile from ear to ear when I tossed this one in and just after a few minutes I found myself ready to turn it off and it didn’t get any better from that moment on. It’s rare I come across a movie with the perfect set up fail to find it’s footing.

The acting in this one is the best aspect of the film. I really liked the cast. The big name cameos didn’t really do it for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing Sid Haig and Dick Miller in movies but I feel they were very underutilized here. I know they are both aging and ill by this point but there is so much more that could have been done with them. The actual cast does a fantastic job. I love the character’s personalities and how they interact with one another. Some were very cleverly written but their personalities doesn’t do much to carry the film.

The story for this one is all over the place and stretched VERY thin. The film has the perfect setting to be an unforgettable slasher comedy. In fact, one scene features someone making Jewish jokes while talking about horror movies. The movie literally sets itself up to be funny but the forced serious tone fails miserably. Then we have the people at the home for several days while their friends go missing with zero fucks given. They question their disappearance but do nothing. It absolutely makes zero sense. If the film was centered around a camping trip it would make some sense with hikers going missing but who goes to a house party, has car trouble for three days, and continues to couch surf while their friends are missing?

Finally, the film does have some bloody moments. The kills fit the style of the film and offer up plenty of blood but, like most of the film, they are rather underwhelming. The effects for the kills are great and work for the scene but offer up nothing memorable. Overall, Hanukkah could have been so much more than what we got. It had the makings of an unforgettable slasher but falls into the depths of Wal-Mart horror. Skip it.

Blacktooth

(Staff Writer) Lover of all things horror and metal. Also likes boobs and booze.

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