Stoinky Beach
Director – Chris Seaver (The Weirdsies, Paranormal Investigation Agency)
Starring – Alec Lambert (The VelociPastor, Sexsquatch), Clint Kelly (Evil Night, WNUF Halloween Special), and Josh Suire (Happy Helladays, Ski Wolf)
Release Date – 2013
Rating – 3/5
I’ve been a fan of Chris Seaver for several years now. I started buying his movies from his Warlock Home Video store front about 10 years ago and I never looked back. Everytime he announces something new I immediately message him trying to get the details. I may not love all his films but I can’t deny how fun they are. Earlier in the year he released the Stoinky Saga on blu.
I had his DVD release of Stoinky Beach so I needed to grab this one for the additional content. I reached out to him and quickly snagged a copy. When it arrived I noticed that one of the films was A Stoinkmare on Halloween Street. I decided then to hold off until October before I dive into the set.
**Spoiler Alert** The film follows a young man who was just dumped by his girlfriend. His friends decide that the best cure for a broken heart is to visit Stoinky Beach where all the babes are ready for some mushroom tips in the sugarwalls. However, his ex and her friends also decide to go to Stoinky Beach. The two groups try to score but fails when they are greeted by a visitor from another world who tries to convince the two love birds to get back together becaus the world relies on love. **Spoiler Alert**
Chris Seaver is a filmmaker that is always reinventing himself with different labels and characters. His Low Budget Pictures created some of his most iconic characters like Teenape and Bonejack. He then brought out the Warlock mascot with his Warlock Home Video label. This is hands down my favorite era of Seavers. I’ve seen most of the films from this time with the exception of two. Stoinky Beach and The Dingleberries are the two films I had not seen. Stoinky looked like a movie that I would really enjoy and I was right. It was definitely fun and did a great job at brining those 80s teen sex comedies to no budget land.
The acting in this one is fun. The cast, though their imdb pages are lacking, have been in several films. They all are having fun and that transfers very well on camera. The characters are carried over from many of the other Warlock Home Video films and the cast does a great job with them. The story, though restricted by budget, does a great job at trying to capture that 80s teen sex comdey that many of grew up watching. It was fun but does drag on in some of the scenes while others struggle to set up the story and the characters. Seaver is known for his rushed shoots and this is clearly one of the cases.
Finally, if you want blood and gore you will miss out here. The film is comedy more than anything else. Overall, Stoinky Beach is a funny and cheap comedy that has that Warlock Home Video charm and that 80s humor. It is well worth a watch.
A Stoinkmare Before Christmas
Director – Chris Seaver (Evil Night, Ski Wolf)
Starring – Minty Dave, Alec Lambert (The VelociPastor, SexSquatch), and Heather Maxon (Evil Night, Death O’Lantern)
Release Date – 2014
Rating – 3/5
I know some of you are going to get your panties in a twist when you see that I reviewed a Christmas movie in the middle of October but I had to. When I received the Stoinky Saga I decided to hold off on watching it until this month because the film features a Halloween themed segment. However, I had to watch the Christmas short before it. So, here I am watching and reviewing a Christmas short in October. Shame on me.
**Spoiler Alert** The film follows two young men who are struggling to find the Christmas spirit. After some brainstorming they decide to create a hot elf to grant their wishes. Things start out smoothly with her granting their wish for beer and longer dongs but when she starts to act strange they quickly realize that they fucked up. **Spoiler Alert**
A Stoinkmare Before Christmas runs a little less than 20 minutes and you can clearly tell that it was a quick shoot with an idea they had. It was fun but, unlike other films from Seaver, I don’t see myself revisiting it any time soon.
The acting in this one is fun. It consists of some familiar faces from the Warlock alumni. They portray similar characters that they have in the passed and really have fun in their roles. I always have fun watching these over the top characters. The story for this one is a Christmas themed horror take on Weird Science. It’s fun and you can tell that Seaver and company spun this one out quickly. Flawed or not, I still really enjoyed it for what it was.
Finally, if you want blood you will be very disappointed. The horror aspect is very light and the film focuses more on the characters and story than it does the deaths. Overall, A Stoinkmare Before Christmas is not a perfect film and not a prime example of what a Chris Seaver flick is but it is fun and gives fans something else to enjoy. It’s flawed but fun.
A Stoinkmare on Halloween Street
Director – Chris Seaver (Death O’Lantern, Evil Night)
Starring – Alec Lambert (Stoinky Beach, The Weirdsies) and Clint Kelly (Call Girl of Cthulhu, Deadliest Prey)
Release Date – 2016
Rating – 3.5/5
What I enjoy most about the films of Chris Seaver is that his love for the 80s always finds its way into every movie he makes. His dialogue, story, and even the characters just drip that 80s charm. When I got this blu in I was excited for all three films but his Halloween themed installment is really what had my interests. With Halloween quickly approaching I decided it was time to toss the blu in and see if he gave me another film to watch during my favorite holiday.
**Spoiler Alert** The film follows the guys as they look for something to do during Halloween when they catch word that a woman is throwing a house party and is looking for some fine folks to hook up with. What they don’t know is that she is a witch and an aspiring female prop comic that needs pumpkins to smash. Sadly, there is a pumpkin shortage and she is going to turn her party guests into pumpkins. **Spoiler Alert**
A Stoinkmare on Halloween Street was everything that I had hoped for. It was centered around Halloween, it featured those highly entertaining characters that can be found in many of the Warlock Home Video releases, and it was overflowing with Seaver’s humor. This is one I can see myself spinning this time of year every year.
The acting in this one is the same style as the other films in the set. The cast is full of high energy, goofy, and just having a blast with friends in front of the camera. They are extremely comfortable with one another and that translates very well in each scene. The story for this one takes the cast into another quick adventure centered around Halloween with another Seaver favorite making their return. The story is rather quick but it works for the short running time.
Finally, this one does not have any real practical effects but Seaver does use some visual effects that were horrible and good for a few laughs. Overall, A Stoinkmare on Halloween Street extremely cheap, vulgar, and fucking funny. If you are looking for a short watch this Halloween season let A Stoinkmare on Halloween Street be it!
