Written for Jon Learns From Movies
It’s Labor Day! Time for us to unofficially say farewell to the summer, kids to go back to school and I to go back to work. It’s also a day to celebrate the working men and women with one final barbecue, fireworks display or beach trip, all in a drunken haze. And so, to celebrate this Labor Day, I watched The Belko Experiment.
The Movie
The Belko Experiment is set in the Bogota offices of a not for profit organization that facilitates some shit for American corporations looking to exploit South American markets. This day, however, is very different. Office hero Mike arrives for work and is met by increased security, including bomb sniffing dogs and heavily armed guards. Then he learns that all the Colombian staff has the day off. None of this worries him enough for him to go home because he is that dedicated to his job. We also meet new employee Dany, who is wondering about the microchip the company implanted in her, Wendell, the office sexual harasser, Leandra, Mike’s office romance and Wendell’s target and Keith who has an ant farm at his desk and has named the ants. Just the kind of guy I want to sit next to for 8 hours a day. Mike is curious enough to call his buddy Evan, the in-building security guy but he knows nothing. As things seem to be normalizing, a voice comes over the intercom with a stunning announcement. The voice tells them that most of them will be dead by the end of the day.They are instructed to kill two people. Before they can escape, the building is sealed by shutters and the wifi and phone lines are dead.
Mike enlists help to escape including Bud the janitor but clearly there is no way out. Mike continues to look for peaceful, non-violent ideas but the situation worsens as the voice informs them that time is up and detonates the microchips of some employees to prove that this is a serious situation. Now they have to kill 30 people or the voice will kill 60. COO Barry Norris and his goon squad start to formulate a plan to achieve this goal while Mike still tries to explore alternatives and other factions form including the stoner conspiracy theorists who come to believe it’s all a poisoned water hallucination. Barry and company start sorting the staff into groups to kill while a Spanish version of California Dreamin’ blares on the radio. Surely this plan can’t fail. Certainly the voice will be satisfied by this sacrifice. Death, violence and mayhem ensue. Can anyone survive The Belko Experiment? Shit, just watch it and find out.
How It Fits I With the Day/Why Did I Choose This Movie
The Belko Experiment definitely does not celebrate the American worker but it does highlight some of the charming coworkers you will have at any job. The callous, dickhead of a COO. The sycophantic, ass-kissing middle managers. The ineffective, whiny people who never do anything right. And you – the hero, the one who always gets more than his share of work done with no praise while standing up to the boss and respecting your coworkers. The Belko Experiment is a microcosm of the soulless, meaningless grind of your everyday existence. (Sorry, just a little bummed about having to go back to work).
Lessons
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- If one of the requirements of your job is having a tracking microchip embedded in your neck, don’t take the job. You are not an employee, you are property. Your boss will know everywhere you go. No more strip clubs or late night trips to your dealer. And they might put an explosive in that chip and make your head explode.
- Do not let the retired special forces guys form the crisis response team. They could have flashbacks to their service and they will be very difficult to stop if need be.
- The life of migrant workers is not easy. Any employer could be their own personal Belko. Cut them some slack.
- WORK FROM HOME. There will be no chaos other than what you create. Unless you’re into conducting personalized psychological experiments. Don’t do that.
