Relax, yal. Relax. After last night’s brand new episode of “Scream: The TV Series,” I read dozens of social media comments stating that the episode was “absolutely terrifying” and left many viewers in tears. My question is: are we watching the same television show? “Scream: The TV Series” has yet to leave me feeling scared or heart-broken, but I have to admit I’m far out MTV’s target audience. I’m not sure why I even tune into the show. Maybe I’m just secretly hoping for a plot point that will directly link “Scream: The TV Series” to Scream the movie franchise. Sarcasm and cattiness aside, I do have to say that episode seven is probably the best episode of season one so far.
When we return Piper is waking up on the dirty floor of the abandoned mechanics shop. Her head is bleeding due to cracking it on a cinder block during the struggle with Ghostface. She staggers to her feet and spots a trail of blood. She follows it, but we switch scenes before getting a glimpse at what she finds. Elsewhere, Will wakes up bound and gagged on an equally dirty floor in an unspecified location. As he begins to regain his senses, Ghostface slowly walks up and motions for him to keep quiet or else.
SCREAM! BRIGHT AND SHINEY!
Sometime the next morning Emma and Maggie are having some mother and daughter time before they leave for the day. Maggie is preparing a sausage and kale dinner for Sheriff Clark, who happens to be bringing Kieran along, too. Maggie asks if Emma and Kieran are together, but Emma states that they are just friends. Emma’s glad that Maggie told her the truth about her friendship with Brandon James, but she’s still confused as to why her father – Kevin – up and left. Maggie says that she was able to live with the horrible events that happened so many years ago, but Kevin couldn’t. Oh, and the whole “just friends” thing goes out the window when Emma and Kieran are making out in front of his truck before school. Oh, the teenage hormones!
Inside George Washington High Audrey and Noah are joking about her arrest, and they’re both glad that Detective Brock has been removed from the case. I guess her only job on the show was to try to make Audrey seem like the killer and to infuse the show with ethnic diversity for a couple episodes. All signs are pointing to Mr. Branson being the killer when Noah divulges that his finger prints are not on file, his computer was scrubbed of all malware and incriminating evidence, and a substitute teacher is filling in for him the day that Will is being held hostage. Down the hall, Brooke and Jake are talking about her mother, who is either dead or in rehab, and decide to tell Emma about the blackmail involving Brooke’s dad. Piper shows up out of no where and tells them, “We need to talk.” How the fuck did she get in the high school? After all the school shootings in reality and all the murders on the show, that place should be on lock down!
Piper takes them back to the old mechanics shop and tells them about how Will wanted to come clean and how he saved her life when Ghostface attacked. She also shows them a brick wall with blood painted on it reading, “NO COPS. EMMA.” Piper starts to feel faint due to the concussion she received from her encounter with Ghostface and Brooke and Jake take her outside to get some air. As soon as they leave Ghostface calls Emma and he tells her the game isn’t about choosing anymore as much as it is “hide and seek.” Basically, he tells her to hurry up and come find Will before he kills him.
Emma can’t find her tech-savy best friend Audrey, who is taking midterms that she missed while being locked up, so she goes to Noah instead. Noah doesn’t want to help Will “find his phone” because Will is an asshole, but agrees to help when Emma comes clean that he’s being held hostage by Ghostface. Noah is able to pinpoint the last known location where Will’s cell phone had service. They’re about to leave until Brooke and Jake join them, fresh off of confronting Brooke’s dad about his shady antics. When they get to the location, it’s an abandoned bowling alley. Why does Lakewood have so many abandoned buildings? Before they can enter, Kieran calls and asks why Emma hasn’t shown up to the awkward family dinner yet. Emma begs him to stall and he tells “the rents” that Emma is helping Audrey study.
The group splits up to find a way inside the bowling alley. During the covert operation Noah tells Emma reasons why he thinks Jake is the killer at the same time that Jake is telling Brooke why he thinks Noah is the killer. Noah is a little more dedicated in his theories and continues to pinpoint Jake as the killer even after they enter the abandoned building and split up to look for Will again. This is very much a Randy and Stu moment from Scream. Jake is busy trying to have sex with Brooke, but she shuts him down and he retreats into the bathroom to take a piss. In that moment, Ghostface pops out at Brooke and she hauls ass in the opposite direction. He chases her into a storage closet just as Emma and Noah find Will in the exact same room. He’s in pretty bad shape and the general consensous is that he’s deader than shit.
Luckily? Will wakes up from his mini-coma, although he’s still bleeding and in rough shape. Audrey calls Noah to talk and Noah pleads for help before his phone loses service, but not before Audrey hears that Will is hurt at the bowling alley. Audrey drives to Emma’s house out of concern and blows Emma and Kieran’s cover and alerts Maggie and Sheriff Clark that some major drama is going down at the old bowling alley. Meanwhile, Emma stops being a basket case and her bright idea to stop Will’s bleeding is to cover the stab wound in tape. During the “medical” treatment, Will complains that his back hurts and Emma lifts his shirt to see that B4 has been carved into his back. Emma discovers a cassette tape about PTSD in a key whole marked B4 and leaves the storage closet to search for the player. Will wants to go after Emma, Brooke wants to look for Jake, no one wants to stay put until the help arrives because they’re stupid.
Noah and Brooke share a friendly moment as they build a “knife stick” out of a poll, tape and a knife. The moment is shattered when Brooke starts saying that Noah is probably the killer. Meanwhile, Emma finds a cassette player and plays the tape, which features audio of her father talking to a psychologist as he deals with what he saw: Emma’s mom fucking Brandon James in the bowling alley. Just then “Daisy, Daisy” starts playing on the loud speaker and Emma knows it’s time to get back to her friends. Her friends decide it’s time to find her, too, and just as they open the door Ghostface appears. They slam the door on him, but his arm is wedged and he’s still able to hack away at them as Ghostface does in all the Scream movies. Will tells Brooke to run and she does, until she finds Jake. Jake is in worse shape than Will and is pinned to a ceiling support with a knife sticking out of his chest.
Brooke removes the knife, which you’re never supposed to do, and everyone splits up to exit the bowling alley as fast as possible. Emma hears all the screaming and runs back towards her friends, but Ghostface is right behind her. He’s about to slash her throat when Will dive tackles him to the floor. Ghostface is about to finally kill Will when the police show up and Ghostface makes a mysterious exit. Emma, Brooke, Jake and Noah exit the bowling alley and are joined outside by Maggie, Sheriff Clark, Kieran and Audrey. The whole entire cast is together on screen for once. Not surprisingly, the police aren’t able to find Ghostface so we get a montage of the aftermath with lots of police and paramedics on the scene.
The next morning, Sheriff Clark and Maggie are trying to convince Emma to get a private detail, but she doesn’t want to. Kieran shows up and wisps her away to her room, where she then proceeds to break up with him! Bitch! Kieran is clearly the better man! #gossipgirl Seconds after the break-up, Will calls and Emma agrees to keep him company in his bedroom while he heals from his injuries. When she gets to his place, she receives a phone call from Ghostface using the Scream 3 voice changer to sound like Will. He says they’re now in the bonus round and she better start running a la Scream 4. She runs to the backyard of Will’s house and finds him in front of running farm equipment, in a very Steve (Scream) and Charlie Walker (Scream 4) way. She goes to rescue him, but inadvertently trips a wire which lowers the farm equipment and splatters Will’s head into a million pieces. Yeah, he’s definitely dead now…
