THE ADHD VAMPIRE By MATTHEW VAUGHN

Horace Dracul is awaken on a seniors citizen cruise ship, where his thirst for blood is only overshadowed by his, oooh somin shiny, complex. The guy just can’t stay fucking focus, which is funny once you get in the swing of the book, but in the beginning Horace’s lack of focus sounds more like the author is jumping around and can’t keep on track, which if ya think about it, is quite genius if you are going to write about an ADHD vampire, just the delivery of the character’s actions gave more confusion than it did clarify the vampire having a focusing problem. Again, once ya get past that and fall into the plot you get what the author is doing.

So our bumbling vamp is awaken, and decides to turn the crew and patrons into his own personal buffet. That is after turning a few choice senior ladies into the equivalence of his own brides. The Brides of Horace…def. doesn’t have the same ring to it but I do find it funny that instead of being the debonair, sexy, tall, dark and handsome presence that is brother is, poor Horace is so on the opposite spectrum that his harem must consist of super old women who would break a hip with a single step if it wasn’t for being turned. I was actually put off by the whole senior cruise idea, especially with the fucking and shitting going on on the ship, but I give Vaughn credit for sticking with it. The side stories of each senior and what they are doing on the ship before they inevitably meet their demise, aren’t bad and make for a well rounded read for a 73 page story.

Another element of the plot (which at first I wasn’t buying into) is the character of 84 year old retired secret agent Martha who seems to be in quite good shape according to the Captain. Well, you would be too, if you were part cyborg….yeah, this little nugget of information isn’t really expanded on till the end, but it does exist. Martha’s special abilities come into play after her romp in the captain’s cabin when she witnesses one of the brides feast upon her cruise ship lover. With her incredible fighting skills and strength she sets off to destroy the vampires. Just goes to show you can take the gal outta the agent but you can’t take the agent outta the gal…or somin like that… I’ll be honest, Martha’s fight scenes with the brides is pretty badass. The image Vaughn evoked wasn’t as ridiculous as it really could be, but like I said badass in it’s delivery.

So there you have it! Read about a second rate Vampire whose self image is over shadowed by his famous brother, attempt to take over an entire senior cruise ship with a cyborg ex secret agent standing in his way. Will Horace stay focused enough to implement his plans? Will Martha be able to defeat the creature that took her true love away from her? Read THE ADHD VAMPIRE to find out…I did and didn’t mind it. I will say that the length is  acceptable for a story like this. Anymore and I don’t think I would have paid attention as much. I would be curious to see what a longer story from Vaughn would be like….

Matthew Vaughn lives in Shelbyville, Kentucky. He is the father of three little girls and a little boy, yet he and his wife are just big kids too. By day he maintains machines and robots, but, by night he is a writer of bizarro fiction. You can keep up with his work at https://mcvaughn.wordpress.com/ or on Facebook.

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