No matter how absurd, no matter how oddly produced, I just can’t seem to turn down these SyFy Channel creature features. Piranhaconda premiered over a year ago, but I recently got a chance to view it during SyFy’s Memorial Day Monster Marathon. I thought I’d let you all know what you didn’t miss out on.
Piranhaconda is the latest Roger Corman produced CGI creature feature. This time around… the cast and crew of a major Hollywood B-movie (what?) are busy filming in Hawaii when they are kidnapped by a Hispanic gang. Not only do actresses and crew members have to escape the gang, but they also have to hide from a giant piranha/anaconda hybrid – the piranhaconda.
Piranhaconda is written by Mike MacLean and J. Brad Wilke – both of Camel Spiders fame – and directed by Jim Wynorski, whose previous work includes Chopping Mall, Ghoulies IV, Cheerleader Massacre, and Dinocroc vs. Supergator. Cast members include Michael Madsen (Resevoir Dogs, Kill Bill V1), Rachel Hunter (“Gravity,” “She’s Got The Look”), Terri Ivens (“All My Children”), Rib Hillis (“Passions”), Kurt Yaegar (“Sons of Anarchy”), Christina DeRosa (Evil Bong 3D), and porn stars Angie Savage and Cindy Lucas.
Roger Corman is undoubtedly one of the biggest faces of the creature feature subgenre. However, he and the company he produces movies with seem to live in a disconnected world where the facts don’t always make sense. Yes, ok, this is a movie about a giant piranha/anaconda hybrid that’s eating people in Hawaii. But still! Why is there a Latin American gang holding the movie crew hostage in Hawaii, and not, ya know, a Hawaiian gang? Why are they being held for a multi-million dollar ransom when they are just an independent film committee? Just once I would like to see a creature feature on SyFy where all the plot details make sense and there’s a believable monster to tie it all together.
And what’s with the red mist? There is no blood in this movie, whether it be practical effects or CGI added. Every time a piranhaconda victim is attacked and mauled a red mist floats all over the screen. It doesn’t look inventive, and it doesn’t look like a massive amount of blood being sprayed out at one time; it just looks stupid and is clearly a half assed attempt at doing blood effects.
However, unconvincing plot and horrible blood effects aside, Piranhaconda is actually one of the better creature features to be shown on the SyFy Channel. The acting is just a step above the rest and the script isn’t as tacky as all the others. The scenery is great and it wasn’t filmed in a hokey kind of way. I know most people run for cover when they see a SyFy Original monster movie coming on, but this is kind of one that I can recommend. If anything it’s better than all the others and at least worth watching if there’s nothing else on and you’re needing a good laugh.
Keep it up, Roger Corman and Jim Wynorski. You’re slowly getting back to making amazing movies again.
