The Werewolf’s Guide to Life: A Manual for the Newly Bitten
By Ritch Duncan and Bob Powers
The Werewolf’s Guide to Life is a fantastic, handy bible for those who’ve been recently bitten by a werewolf and need some step-by-step guidance. It is also quite a humorous little book (whimsically illustrated by Emily Flake) for lycanthrope-loving fans that need a little light, humorous reading amongst those violent, gory werewolf book readings.
The book is broken up into three parts, with each chapter beginning with a bitten person’s testimonial. Part one deals with the basics every blossoming newbie might be concerned about at first, particularly just what a werewolf is and how one can tell if they have the call of the beast. This manual is filled with interesting notions that reach depths any average human wouldn’t consider when thinking about werewolves – like puberty, pregnancy, purebloods vs. the bitten, supplies needed in preparation for the first transformation and even the kinds of dreams your everyday lycanthrope may have. Find out why werewolves hear “The Static” and what it means. Favorite tip: “GET AWAY FROM OTHER PEOPLE.”
The second part in Werewolf’s Guide contains very detailed instructions on understanding how to live with lycanthropy as easily as possible and learning the ideal amenities needed for one’s new living situation. Preparation is the key word! Here’s a lovely title to crochet and hang on the wall: “Home is Where You Hang Your Restraint System.” In these next few chapters, we learn about proper lyc diets (even when to expect bowel movements!), how to create a safe room, and even all sorts of methods of restraints (which can be purchased from the local fetish shop). Who would’ve thought to correlate lycanthropes with S&M? Not me, but there you go! We also study how a modern werewolf could possibly keep a job, dating/sex issues, werewolf communities, religion and health/wellness issues. Favorite tip: “While it might seem like small animals are not much of a meal for a werewolf, the fact is, it doesn’t matter. Just eat a lot of them.”
Part three is all about survival. It is a werewolf’s duty to go outside the day after a transformation and check for any signs of an aftermath. The last thing needed is to find out you accidentally created a lycanthrope when it’s too late. We learn how to keep the “Wolf-Outs” in check, how to deal with fur chasers, vampires, werewolf hunters and delving into the darker side of lycanthropy. The darker side is pretty interesting… the guilt of killing an innocent, feeling part of an apocalyptic world, as an evil cog in the machine; a werewolf fatalism of sorts. Favorite tip: “You bit it, you bought it… If you attacked someone and they survived, congratulations, Dad!”
A Werewolf’s Guide to Life is quite the manual that every werewolf must own with dog-eared pages from overuse as the intent was to spread survival information to lycanthropes and even insight to werewolf hunters of the struggles bitten humans have had to endure. It is the two authors’ hopes to change hunters’ minds about killing them. They were kind enough to include transformation dates in the book’s appendix, so lycs can check their “Moon Set” dates in the timetable.
To keep the fun alive, hang out at the website https://www.werewolfguidetolife.com/ which features werewolf movie reviews (keeping the educational, werewolf survival tone of the book), tips, a transformation calendar (with dates thru 2015!) and more!
Not quite sure if the author of this book is being serious, or if the book is meant to be humorous.