Lust Connection
Directed by H.R. Blueberry
Seduction Cinema
by LM Campbell
When a director is too embarrassed to use his or her real name in the credits (I guess Alan Smithee was busy that day), one absolute certainty and immutable principle of film is that it assuredly will stink of ass. Old-school cock gobbler Chasey Lane, and a bevy of fat-titted naturalists fill the screen with gobs of PG-rated soft core ‘porn’ in Seduction Cinema’s rip-off of sleazy big-screen ‘classics’ Fatal Attraction and Basic Instinct. A sex scene and mini masturbation sequence open the film before an iota of plot has been entertained or a line of dialogue spoken (unless you consider ‘ooooh baby I love your little baby dick’ and ‘ya – ride that cock you dirty spunk guzzler!’ to be dialogue). Anyhoo – a woman is killed in a hot tub and her philandering husband is the prime suspect. And what do most mourning (and presumably innocent) spouses do when their wife has just been murdered? – that’s right, he fantasizes about another woman! And then this chunky-assed necrophile watches a porno that stars himself and his dead wife! How is that supposed to be arousing? This little cunt is one sick motherfucker. His wife is dead; murdered. And all he can think about is when he can dry-hump another cum dumpster with too much saline and not enough acting ability. Oh – and who killed his wife? Fucked if I know. My audio doesn’t work on my DVD player when I’m fast-forwarding at 20X speed.
Hell, should I review this as a thriller, or a porno? Lust Connection is too flaccid to be called either.
www.SeductionCinema.com
www.eiCinema.com
