“Scream Queens” was actually up about 200,000 viewers this week, but only managed to pull in an audience of 2,600,000. I don’t know how FOX is keeping this show on the air because those numbers are abysmal for such a big network. Thankfully, for me, “Scream Queens” is going on a two week hiatus and will return after The World Series. This will give me a nice two week break from my TV Recap. So until then… WARNING: ALL MAJOR EPISODE SPOILERS WILL FOLLOW!
We return right where episode five left off, with the Kappa Kappa Tau sisters and pledges voting to see who the president of the sorority will be. Will Chanel Oberlin retain her place as HBIC or will pledge Zayday steal the thrown. White marble for Oberlin, black marble for Zayday. After Jennifer the Candle Vlogger tallies the votes, it is revealed that the girls tied and Oberlin and Zayday will now co-lead the sorority. Oberlin thinks this is unfair because, since people are getting killed off, she didn’t have time to properly bribe everyone and she blames Chanel #5 the most for the tie. She storms upstairs to cry in her closet and Chanel #3 and Chanel #5 go to check on her. When they find her they think she’s still crying, but it is revealed that she’s laughing – the whole thing being a part of her plan. She, in fact, voted for Zayday so that they’d have to co-run the sorority because, as she learned from A&E documentaries, no one wants to be the boss alone in an extreme crisis. Now that Zayday is co-head of the Kappa a target as big as Oberlin’s is on her head. It’s all just one big set up to get Zayday killed.
Downstairs, Chanel #3 follows Sam (predatory lesbian) into the bathroom and asks her if she knows karate. Through awkward conversation about looking like they don’t care, Chanel #3 and Sam continue to flirt and Sam eventually asks Chanel #3 if she’s a lesbian, too. Just then, Oberlin comes back down and surprises Zayday with the key to the storage room downstairs which holds all of the darkest secrets of Kappa Kappa Tau. Her reasoning: she wants Kappa to survive these serial murders and will do anything to ensure that, even if it means relinquishing partial command. Grace and Zayday celebrate and decide to throw a slumber party that starts in the day so they can play truth or dare in hopes of uncovering more secrets that pinpoint the identity of the killer. Before they play truth or dare, Chanel #3 really wants them to play spin the bottle, despite Oberlin’s unhappiness with the game without any Dickie Dollar Scholars being around. They play anyway and Chanel #6 kisses Jennifer and Chanel #3 re-spins so that she can have her first kiss with Sam.
At the Dickie Dollar Scholars fraternity, Caulfield is able to chug a can of pasta sauce in under 45 seconds, proving to everyone that he can do anything without arms. Caulfield’s arms were hacked off by The Red Devil in episode 3, but he survived somehow. Earl Grey, Zayday’s sort of boyfriend, enters and calls out Chad for all of his weird sexual exploits: dead bodies, Chanel #6, Cathy Munch and Officer Hemphill included. Chad is proud of sleeping around and is able to get the rest of his fraternity brothers off his back by proposing a panty raid of Kappa Kappa Tau. Back at the sorority, we learn that Chanel #3 always wears ear muffs because a man became so obsessed with her ears that she threatened to kill her if he ever saw them again. Due to her first boyfriend killing himself as well, Chanel #3 blames her father – Charles Mansons – and his charismatic blood for being the reason that people who love her go insane. Because of this, she claims that she can’t be with Sam… for her safety.
Downstairs, the sorority sisters and pledges have taken a break from spin the bottle to make peanut smores in the kitchen when they discover one by one that all the doors and windows have been bolted shut, trapping them inside. As soon as they notice this, the power goes off inside the mansion. Cell phone services fails, too, but Chanel Oberlin is able to call Chad for help because her phone was built for space travel. While on the phone, Chad admits to all the people he’s had sex with and Oberlin’s response is to tell Chad that she loves him. He says he loves her, too, sort of, before telling her that he’s already on the way there with the fraternity for a panty raid. When they arrive at Kappa, they’ve somehow managed to secure a ladder and climb to the second floor because all the doors and windows on the first floor are bomb proof. Chad breaks the glass, enters Oberlin’s bedroom and reunites with her. Suddenly, they see The Red Devil approaching and they yell for the remaining Dickie Dollar Scholars to scale the ladder and enter the safety of the house. All of them make it up the ladder, except for Caulfield because he has no arms to climb with. Chad throws Oberlin’s phone, the only one with service, at The Red Devil, but this does nothing and they watch as The Red Devil hacks Caulfield twice in the chest with an ax and then cuts his head off.
While the bloodbath is happening outside, Grace and Zayday are discussing whether of not to continue with truth or dare. Grace stops and questions what they’re doing, why they are staying when the safest thing to do is get off campus and enroll somewhere else. Zayday, with just a few hours of Kappa Kappa Tau co-presidency under her belt, has already started to change into a mean girl and says they’re staying because she won’t be scared away by some killer. Downstairs, Chanel Oberlin wants to play spin the bottle again now that the Dickie Dollar Scholars are there, but Grace and Zayday have them play truth or dare again. Jennifer says the game is stupid and she argues with Chad about the rules, who says the title isn’t “truth or dare or lie.” Oberlin asks Chanel #5 truth or dare and she picks truth. Question: Does your vagina have teeth? Chanel #5 denies it. Chanel #6 asks Sam truth or dare and she picks truth. Question: What is Chanel #3’s darkest secret? Fearing that she’ll be outed, Chanel #3 admits that she loves Sam just as Sam divulges that Chanel #3 is Charles Manson’s daughter. This makes Chad believe that Chanel #3 is the killer, something she was nervous about all along. And if not, she should give it a try. She’d probably be good at it.
Chanel #3 is pissed and asks Sam truth or dare. Sam picks dare and Chanel #3 dares her to go downstairs and take a nap in the bloody bathtub from the 1995 baby incident. Sam goes downstairs alone and discovers there’s real blood in the bathtub, just as The Red Devil sneaks up behind her and bangs her head on the bathtub. The Red Devil places her in the bathtub while Sam pleads for her life, but she accepts her fate and asks to see The Red Devil’s face before he kills her. He does so, with Sam saying, “I knew it was you,” before he strangles her to death with a plastic bag. Upstairs, Chad discovers that someone replaced all the food and drinks in the kitchen with watermelon wine-coolers. Chanel #6 pops up and is hoping that Chanel Oberlin gets killed so she can have Chad all to herself. Oberlin catches them talking and, during the next game – seven minutes in heaven – drags Chad to her closet so they can make out. While there, Oberlin says she wants to be with Chad but she also wants it to mean something. Chad pinky promises to only sleep with Chanel and they reunite for like the third time.
During the next round of seven minutes in heaven, Chanel #5 and Roger go into the closet next to make out. They hear screaming downstairs and everyone but the duo making out head to the sound of the shrieks and they find that Chanel #6 has discovered the dead body of Sam in the bathtub. This means the killer has somehow found his way into the house. Chanel Oberlin blames Chanel #6 for Sam’s death, saying it’s coincidental that she discovered the body and she also says she knows Chanel #6 was the one who turned her into the police. Grace is suspicious of Chanel #6, too, and Chanel #6 says she’ll just stay with everyone every moment of the day until someone else dies so they know it wasn’t her. Finally, Chad says that won’t work and reveals that the night he was attacked there were TWO Red Devils. In the make out closet, Chanel #5 and Roger are talking instead of making out and The Red Devil slowly sneaks up behind them. He kills Roger with a nail gun, making his head and body look like Pinhead. He ignores Chanel #5 for some reason and leaves.
The rest of the group discover Chanel #5 next to Roger’s dead body and they start to think that Chanel #5 and Chanel #6 are the two killers working together. Someone brings up that Grace’s boyfriend, Pete, is conveniently unavailable right before Chad discovers a trap door leading to a secret tunnel system in Chanel Oberlin’s closet. Zayday wants to go in the tunnels because it’s the only way out. No one wants to follow her incase the killers are down there, but Oberlin decides to go as co-president of Kappa. The tunnels are enormous, looking more like a train station, and have portraits of all the former Kappa Kappa Tau presidents. Oberlin goes over all of their legacies, revealing just how horrible each woman was, which makes Zayday question what their legacy will be. Suddenly, The Red Devil is at the end of the tunnel and starts chasing them with an ax. The girls are separated and this Red Devil wants Zayday’s blood (the other wanted to date her). She’s able to miss several deadly blows with some expert jumps and dives, but he’s about to kill her when Chanel Oberlin returns and knocks him unconscious. Zayday is shocked that Oberlin came back for her, but she says she only did it because there’s strength in numbers.
The girls find their way out of the tunnels and alert authorities to what’s going on in the mansion. The cops are able to break in and Cathy Munch arrives to check on the girls. Cathy is happy that the bloodbath happened because now cops will be assigned to protect each individual girl since all of the canon fodder have been knocked off. Wes shows up and tries to literally drag Grace home, but she wants to stay with her sorority sisters. The next day, Chanel #3 and Chanel #5 are talking and bonding in the bathroom. Chanel #3 says she loved Sam and that she is bisexual, not full on lesbian. Chanel #5 is sad because she thinks she’ll never find another boyfriend now that Dodger and Roger are both dead. Chanel #3 assures her that won’t be the case. Chanel Oberlin then gifts all of the girls with a pair of pink nun-chucks, saying that the first rule of being a Kappa is that you don’t take shit from anyone. She then proposes taking the fight to The Red Devil instead of waiting for his next attack.
The Red Devil watches from outside as the girls throw a dance party before war begins. Because there’s no better way to ignore that three of your friends just died than to throw a dance party.
END OF EPISODE
KILL COUNT:
Ms. Bean – face burned off with hot grease (episode 1)
Chanel #2 – stabbed in chest and stabbed in heart (episode 1)
Deaf Taylor Swift – head taken off with a lawn mower (episode 1)
Officer Shondell – stabbed in the face and throat slashed (episode 2)
Coney/Aaron Cohen – sawed in half with a chainsaw (episode 3)
Mandy Greenwell – stabbed in the chest multiple times (episode 4)
Dodger – disemboweled (episode 5)
Caulfield – hacked in the chest twice with ax then beheaded (episode 5)
Sam – strangled to death with a plastic bag (episode 5)
Roger – shot dozens of times with a nail gun (episode 5)
