Let me keep it 100% honest. The only reason Finders Keepers was produced was to capitalize on the Annabelle infatuation at the box office. Just as the SyFy Original Movies always do when a horror film becomes popular.
Finders Keepers is written by Peter Sullivan (Chupacabra vs. the Alamo, Jersey Shore Shark Attack) and directed by Alexander Yellen (Battledogs, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus). Cast members include Jaime Pressly (Not Another Teen Movie, Demon Island, “My Name is Earl,” A Haunted House 2, “Jennifer Falls”), Kylie Rogers, Tobin Bell (Saw I – VII), Mark DeCarlo (“The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius”), Joseph Gatt (“Teen Wolf,” “Game of Thrones”), Mary Pat Gleason (Room 6, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry), Trilby Glover (“The Starter Wife,” “Crash”), Joey Luthman (“Weeds,” “The Goldbergs”), Patrick Muldoon (“Melrose Place,” Star Ship Troopers), Marina Sirtis (“Girlfriends,” The Grudge 3), and many more.
“A child becomes obsessed with an evil doll left behind by the previous occupants of her new home.”
Ok, so, Finders Keepers is what I like to call a “check film.” Cast and crew show up, they film something, they leave, they collect a check. In my mind I can literally picture someone saying, “You want to do a movie to capitalize on Annabelle?” and then throwing it all together in two weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I really wanted to like this movie, but it was just missing any remnants of “oomph” factor.
This can most be seen in the below average acting performances from the cast. All of them – and I mean all of them – are phenomenal actors and have a lot of noteworthy credits to their name. However, you’d never know it from watching this movie. A lot of subpar dialogue, a lot of under-acting, and I honestly think the cast was just as bored as the viewers were. This could have been a real selling point for the movie. The potential to reel in fans of all the actors was a definite possibility, but you still need to give them a reason to stay tuned. Yes, everyone mentioned above is a fantastic actor, but none of that was brought to the table here. A real let down.
Finders Keepers is not very scary, either. The intended scary and suspenseful moments came across as cheesy and were the furthest thing from frightful. Actually, I found them kind of funny! I almost felt like I was watching a Lifetime Original Movie instead of a SyFy Original Movie. Where the blood and gore is so severely turned down that it makes the whole thing look cheap, like a knock-off…of Annabelle or Chucky or Puppet Master. The creators had an original idea with the “haunted doll” scenario given the fact that Lilith (the doll) is a Guatemalan Worry Doll, which is a real thing. Right there is some original, authentic creepiness…but then they somehow messed it up by toning it down. Sometimes it’s hard to get scared by any killer doll movie when you’ve seen all the great ones.
The only positive I found to this movie is that the devil doll could possess people. That was new. And the fact that it has a high production quality – good lighting, nice angles, perfect editing. If only that was good enough to justify a positive review.
As much as I hate it, I’m going to rate Finders Keepers a 4 out of 10. The ball was dropped on just about every level and in every department. I know everyone – cast, crew, writer, director – are capable of so much better. It really is best that they collect that check and move on. We all have duds from time to time and this is one of them.
