Picked this up at Spencer’s today. Figured I’d share it with you all. If you want to buy it, then you can purchase it here.
Rule #1 – Home is where the hatchet is. Create a home base with plenty of weapons. The sharper the better.
Rule #2 – Watch expiration dates. Stockpile food for long periods of time. Canned food is good. Junk food is better.
Rule #3 – Knock Knock. Who’s there? A zombie! Be sure to create a strong entry and exit door. barricade all doors and windows.
Rule #4 – Trust no one – not even your mom. (Even if your friends think she’s hot.)
Rule #5 – Have a burning desire. Zombies hate fire. Learn to make fire with everyday objects.
Rule #6 – Wear protection. Avoid all zombie body fluids. Yuck!
Rule #7 – Wear sunglasses. A nice pair of shades always look cool. And protect your eyes.
Rule #8 – Run for your life. Stay fit and fast. Most zombies run like the chubby kid in your third grade class.
Rule #9 – Batter up. Zombie down. Keep a large, blunt object nearby and ready to swing at all times. A bat, crowbar or sturdy tree limb usually works nicely.
Rule #10 – No brain, no pain. Decapitating a zombie is best but kind of gross. Key is to destroy the brain stem.
Rule #11 – Beware of bush. Stay clear of bushes and shrubbery in general.
Rule #12 – Stagger and drool. Learn to stagger, lumber and drool. Make zombies think you’re one of them. Just pretend you’re a gym teacher.
Rule #13 – Cliche is okay. Always check closets and under beds before relaxing in front of the tv.
Rule #14 – Boobies are good. Set up booby traps as warnings and alerts. Trip wires and rattling cans are a good idea.
Rule #15 – Slippery knobs. Try putting vaseline on doorknobs. Zombies get frustrated.
Rule #16 – Nice to meat you. Always leave raw meat out in the open to distract zombies. Better they eat it than you.
Rule #17 – Always wash your hands. Hey, maybe your Mom was right.
Rule #18 – Objects in mirrors. Check backseats before buckling in.
Rule #19 – Don’t get mauled. Avoid populated areas like shopping malls and movie theatres. To zombies those are an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Rule #20 – Go all the way. A wounded zombie is not a dead zombie.
