Bikini Bloodbath. 2007. Blood Bath Pictures. Reviewed by Brian Kirst
“You’ve got to live it up like a filthy rabbi –
You’ve got to live it up – wear a polo tie” – White Liger (Bikini Bloodbath Theme)
While this film’s running time is generously billed as 73 minutes on the DVD box cover – in actuality it doesn’t even make the 60 minute mark before the final credits start running. Still, this is probably an asset to Jon Gorman and Thomas Edward Seymour’s often ridiculously enjoyable, incredibly juvenile Bikini Bloodbath. A longer running time and the childishly potent humor displayed within may have worn out its welcome. As it is, the duo crams an epic’s worth of ideas into this brief scantily clad, parody happy adventure.
Taking its cues from the original Slumber Party Massacre, Bikini Bloodbath is concerned with the ramifications that slaughter happy Chef Death has upon Jenny’s all girl, end of the school year blast. While many of the plot points are comparable to Rita Mae Browne’s classic, Gorman and Seymour also borrow, wisely, from Carrie, 80’s teen sex comedies and – believe it or not – Flashdance. While they pay homage to the lesbian coach and same sex kissing teammates (feminine, of course), they also explore the homoerotic subtext of football playing jocks. In fact, Carmine Capobianco who plays the butt happy football coach seems to be having the most fun of all the cast members involved in the project.
The male cast members also provide one of the more enjoyable knocks on the slasher genre. Mocking the use of twenty something actors playing teens, Gorman and Seymour cast 30 (and above) year old, frequently out of shape actors to play the amorous football team. In fact, Seymour, himself, giddily (and quite skillfully) portrays the booty chasing, unreliable Phil.
Other standouts in the cast include the skinny, obnoxious Mike played, full force, by Russ Russo and the awkward, unpopular Suzi played with loving gracelessness by Sheri Bomb. The skin bearing popular set is anchored by Katie Gil as the super hot Portia, Dana Fay Ensalata as the two timing Pam and the hysterical Anna-Karen Eskilsson as the aggressive, taco obsessed Sharon. Debbie Rochon supplies her usual oomph as the girl’s coach, but unfortunately her participation here is much less than the box cover seductively (in both visual and synopsis) implies.
The special effects are alternately potent (some nice neck wound action) and hokey-humorous, but ultimately there is plenty of blood squirting activity and an incredibly high body count. More than anything, though, the filmmakers and performers seem to be having an incredibly good time in this very low budget project – and their heart and enthusiasm ultimately make this a frequently worthy – as opposed to worthless- entry in the slasher parody sweepstakes.
